I’m just going to go ahead and say it:
Grief and shame are toxic twins. ☠️
And they love working together.
They’re full-contact emotions.
They don’t just live in your thoughts — they move into your body, mess with your sleep, hijack your appetite, fog your thinking, and drain your energy like they’ve got nowhere else to be.
They can leave you exhausted all the time.
Crying at strange moments.
Staring into the fridge like it contains the meaning of life.
Feeling unmotivated, disconnected, or frozen in place.
Grief and shame thrive in secrecy, silence, and self-judgment.
Put words to them and they lose some of their grip.
Keep them hidden and they’ll happily shrink your life down to the size of your fear.
Every chakra feels the impact of these emotions in its own way. And if we want to move forward — really move forward — we need to understand where grief and shame are showing up in the body.
Now we turn toward the solar plexus — the centre of personal power and agency.
The Solar Plexus Chakra
Your solar plexus chakra is located in the centre of your abdomen, between your belly button and your heart.
This is the seat of your will, confidence, boundaries, motivation, and forward motion.
It’s the part of you that says:
“I’ve got this.”
—or—
“I absolutely do not.”
When your solar plexus is supported, you trust your decisions. You have energy to act. You take up space without apologizing for your existence. You feel capable of moving forward, even when things aren’t perfect.
When it’s out of balance, shame tends to take the wheel.
And shame has a way of flaring up during any season of uncertainty — loss, burnout, illness, identity shifts, job changes, caregiving, menopause, or simply realizing that life didn’t turn out the way you thought it would.
Shame whispers stories like:
- You should be further along by now.
- You failed.
- You should be handling this better.
- What’s wrong with you?
And just like grief, shame freezes us.
It collapses our posture.
It drains our energy.
It makes moving forward feel almost impossible.
That’s not a personal flaw.
That’s how shame works.
Full-Contact Emotions in Real Life
Instead of acknowledging grief and shame, many of us default to survival mode.
We put on a brave face.
Smile wide.
Say “I’m fine” one more time and keep going.
Or we shut down.
Act out in anger (anger is often grief in armour).
Numb out with screens.
Overwork.
Over-shop.
Overthink.
Under-feel.
Sleep gets disrupted.
Eating patterns go sideways.
Old aches and pains get louder.
See what I mean?
FULL. CONTACT. EMOTIONS.
The Part We Often Miss
Here’s the part no one wants to hear — until they’re ready:
Grief can be clarifying.
Not in a silver-lining, everything-happens-for-a-reason way.
But in a gut-check way.
Grief asks us to re-evaluate who we are now.
What no longer fits.
What we’re done carrying.
And what moving forward actually looks like — not who we used to be, but who we’re becoming.
And this is exactly where the solar plexus comes in.
Because loss doesn’t just take something from us.
It invites us to redefine our sense of self.
How to Support Your Solar Plexus (Without Forcing Yourself to “Be Strong”)
There’s no single right way to do this work. But here are a few grounded, accessible ways to begin.
1. Choose Support That Matches Where You Are
For some people, talk therapy is the right container — especially when old trauma needs careful unpacking.
For others, grief coaching offers something different: practical tools you can actually use on a Tuesday. Not just insight, but support that helps you process grief so it doesn’t get carried into every future relationship and decision.
The goal isn’t to “get over” grief.
It’s to learn how to live with yourself through it.
2. Start With One Small Step
When grief or shame feels heavy, motivation is often the first thing to go. So don’t start big.
Start small.
One small step is enough.
- Take a shower
- Eat something in a bowl (anywhere but the bed)
- Put on one colourful item — socks count
- Read one page of the book on your nightstand
- Open a window and let fresh air touch your face
After that step, pause.
Check in.
Do you feel even 1% better?
If yes, choose another small step.
That’s it.
One step at a time is more than enough.
3. Check Your Posture (Seriously)
Shame loves a collapsed posture.
Chin tucked.
Shoulders rounded forward.
Centre protected.
Try this instead:
Lengthen your spine slightly, as if you’re growing a little taller.
Roll your shoulders back and let them drop away from your ears.
Take a slow, deep breath and let your chest expand.
Notice what changes — even subtly.
The body often leads the mind.
4. Gentle Movement for the Solar Plexus
The solar plexus responds well to movement that opens the front of the body and encourages energy to flow.
My favourites are gentle backbends, always followed by a counterpose.
For example:
- Cobra pose → Child’s pose
- Bridge pose → Knees to chest
Move slowly.
Stop if anything feels off.
This work is about safety, not pushing.
A Final Reflection
The more we meet grief and shame with compassion instead of judgment, the more space opens up for clarity.
Grief has lessons to offer — about love, loss, resilience, and what truly matters.
And the solar plexus invites us to redefine who we are now, not who we were before the loss.
So ask yourself:
Who are you now?
What are you ready to leave behind?
What are you taking with you?
Who are you becoming?
The choice is yours.
It always has been.
And you don’t need to do it all at once.
You just need to take one small step.
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