How’s your heart today?
Not the polite answer.
The honest one.
Is there love there?
Tenderness?
Longing?
Is there grief mixed in too?
Most of us don’t get one without the other.
Love and Grief Are Not Opposites
Love opens us.
It makes us feel warm, wanted, and safe — in the reassurance of a hug, the steadiness of a wise friend, the intimacy of a lover, or the quiet loyalty of a pet curled up beside us.
Grief opens us too.
Sometimes suddenly and excruciatingly.
Sometimes slowly — like a heavy door creaking open with anticipatory grief for what’s coming.
When grief leaves us ragged around the edges, love becomes the balm that helps us rediscover our wholeness — not by erasing the pain, but by softening it enough that we can keep living.
The problem is, the world often gets impatient with grief.
We’re encouraged to “get back to normal.”
To move on.
To be strong.
But the truth is: the life we had before loss is no longer available.
There’s no going back — only forward, or stuck.
And when you’re grieving, forward can feel impossible.
That’s where the heart chakra comes in.
“Grieve so that you can be free to feel something else.”
— Nayyirah Waheed
The Heart Chakra
The heart chakra is located in the centre of your chest.
It’s the bridge between the lower three chakras (the tangible world of safety, emotion, and power) and the upper three chakras (the intangible realms of expression, intuition, and meaning).
In other words, it’s where being human meets being spiritual.
In Sanskrit, the heart chakra is called Anahata, meaning “unstruck.”
It speaks to the heart’s remarkable capacity to be wounded — and still return to wholeness.
A healthy heart chakra allows you to:
- Love and accept yourself and others more often than not
- Offer compassion without abandoning boundaries
- Forgive without self-betrayal
- Say no without drowning in guilt
- Trust yourself, others, and something larger than you (God, Universe, Spirit, Source — take your pick)
The heart is not weak.
It’s resilient.
“Grief doesn’t define us, it deepens us.”
Grief Is the Shadow of the Heart
Life constantly asks us to risk our hearts.
On people we love who may leave.
On relationships that might change or end.
On pets who will almost certainly die before we do.
On careers, callings, and inner nudges that lead us into the unknown.
The fact that loss wounds us doesn’t mean we loved wrong.
It means we loved fully.
Grief is love in motion.
It’s intense, contradictory, and deeply human — which is why the heart chakra is the perfect place to hold it. The heart knows how to meet grief with tenderness rather than force.
But when grief feels overwhelming, we often armour up.
Perfectionism.
Staying busy.
Humour (especially sarcasm).
Over-giving.
Numbing.
Isolating.
Getting quiet.
Everyone has their go-to armour.
Do you know yours?
Armour helps us survive — but it’s heavy to wear forever.
When grief isn’t acknowledged, it doesn’t disappear. It settles into the body, living in the cells as if the loss is still happening. Over time, that weight shows up as exhaustion, tension, illness, or emotional shutdown.
The good news is this: pain can shift when it’s allowed to move.
The Instinct to Hold On
When we love, our instinct is to hold on tight.
A death grip, sometimes.
Love feels so good — and the thought of losing it can be terrifying.
But my Nana taught me something different.
As she was dying, I learned that loving someone also means loving them enough to let them be free. Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer is permission — to go, to change, to take the next step in their journey.
Love is liberation.
The love you share with someone doesn’t leave when they die.
When my Nana was nearing the end of her life, I was flooded with memories.
Her throwing back vodka sodas with her best friend well into her golden years.
Her devotion to quality — especially gold jewellery.
Her fierce care for the people she loved, like vacuuming my pillow at 3 a.m. when chemo made my hair fall out and she heard me rustling.
Maya Angelou was right — we never forget how people make us feel.
My Nana made me feel cherished. Important. Safe.
And that love didn’t disappear when she did.
It changed shape.
Love keeps showing up — through memory, values, lessons, and presence — long after loss.
Love smooths the sharpest edges of grief.
It waits patiently to fill the space pain leaves behind.
Supporting Your Heart Chakra Through Grief
Here are some gentle, grounded ways to work with the heart chakra when love and grief are intertwined.
Breathe
Breath is the healer that’s always with you.
With each inhale, imagine your heart space opening — like a flower unfolding petal by petal in the centre of your chest.
With each exhale, soften. Surrender. Let yourself be supported.
Cry
Tears are movement.
Crying, sobbing, even wailing are physical ways to release grief and keep the heart open to healing. There’s nothing weak about it.
Create Ritual
Ritual keeps love alive.
- Cook their favourite meal.
- Listen to their favourite song.
- Light a candle on their birthday.
- Buy the cupcake.
Ritual honours love without denying loss.
Connect
Love doesn’t exist in isolation.
- Reach out.
- Call someone.
- Let yourself give and receive care.
Write Love Letters
Write to people you love — living or dead.
- Write to your family.
- Your younger self.
- Your current self.
- Someone you’ve lost.
No rules. No pressure. No audience.
If you want to pass love forward, moreloveletters.com is a beautiful place to start.
A Final Reminder
Keep moving forward — gently.
Keep choosing actions that support your heart.
Because every crack grief leaves behind is also an opening.
An opening for deeper love.
Greater compassion.
More truth.
As Leonard Cohen reminded us:
That’s how the light gets in.
And you don’t have to do this all at once.
Just one soft step at a time.
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