If just reading that made your stomach tighten up, know you’re not alone. And that’s precisely why I created this course.
Designed for the person who has had a recent ‘brush with death’, whether that be the death of a loved one, a cancer diagnosis, a near-death experience, or someone who has always had a deep fear of death itself and are at the ‘ok, so what do I do now?’ stage of their journey.
Do Death Differently will give you the structure and tools you need to process your own brush with death…whatever that may be.
Delivered monthly, each module is a beautifully designed PDF filled to the brim with guidance and exercises to help you focus and move forward in your life while providing enough time for you to process the work.
I should also state that I’m not a therapist and I obviously don’t know what happens when you die, because, well, I don’t ever remember dying (nor do I remember my birth) and I’m definitely not here to challenge any religious beliefs. My intention is to simply share what I’ve learned along my journey in becoming a ‘life and death coach’ in the hopes that it helps liberate you from any deep-seated and limiting fear based stories that are keeping you from living your most fulfilling life.
I love the saying “your word is your wand”, because it is. What you say affects how you feel. That means your words help create the magic – or lack of it – in your life. Like when I was a kid, I was terrified of roller coasters because I was told they were scary. Then I hopped on one and LOVED it. The story I was told created a deep fear, but when I finally rode a coaster for myself, I gained a whole new story (and an experience that made me feel alive.)
Being told death is scary leads to the story that it’s a nemesis to be defeated.
Even our beauty industry reflects these stories. Bathroom and drugstore shelves everywhere are laden with products that promise to fight aging and get rid of all those nasty signs that we are, in fact, getting older. Magazines promise us we can live longer if we just follow these three easy tips. Blog posts demand that we eat all the right things and change our lifestyle so we can live longer.
Am I saying just eat junk food and never exercise? No. But I am saying that this constant focus on how to extend our lives makes us feel guilty if we’re not doing enough.
We’re constantly given the message that death is something to cheat, something to be victorious over. We say that we “lost” someone, as if death is a monster that snuck out of the woods and dragged them away.
There’s a big, obvious flaw in this approach: We’re all going to die one day. Every last one of us. No matter how many greens we eat, no matter if we start every day with a protein-packed smoothie and enough vitamins to sink a small ship, no matter if we do yoga and get plenty of fresh air and remember to meditate. We’re still going to leave this physical plane.
Finding peace with that doesn’t just help you accept death…
it helps you live a better life.
What if instead of fighting death we embraced aging and let our journey to the end be easy? What if we saw it as what Rainer Maria Rilke calls a great gift, left unopened.
There are natural cycles at play around us all the time. Things are always dying and being reborn. Trees develop vibrant green buds in spring, come to their full leafy glory in summer, go through some vibrant changes in autumn, and finally fall dormant in winter ready for a new cycle. We breathe in, and then we let the breath go and take in new breath. The food we eat nourishes us then is transformed into waste. As we move through life, we let go of old dreams and who we used to be (who hasn’t got some fond memories of fashions that made you look hot as hell in your teens that you wouldn’t dream of wearing now?) so we can grow and change into new versions of ourselves.
When we look at it this way, death is the winter of life. It’s time for things to die and return to nature, so new things can be born. Sometimes it’s metaphorical, like letting go of an old outworn dream so you can embrace what you truly want now, and sometimes it’s literal. Sometimes, just being around death or thinking about it encourages us to let go of what we no longer need in life, and focus on what actually matters.
When we embrace death as the winter of life, it becomes much less frightening. After all, without winter there could be no spring. You can’t read the next chapter of a book if you refuse to turn the page from the chapter you’re on. I know it can take time to see death this way – we’ve already established that society doesn’t encourage us to think like this.
So, stick with me, and we’ll take this journey of changing views and stories around death together.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “we are spiritual beings having a human existence” (thanks Ram Dass). At the most basic level, we are all made of energy that hums and thrums and moves through our bodies and powers our cells. At another level, we are even more than energy – we are spirit.
We’re not our bodies. We’re not even the thoughts we choose to think. We are made of something deeper. Call it spirit, soul, starstuff, light, essence, whichever word most resonates with you. We find it in the quiet moments, when we look at the stars or hear the rustle of wind through the leaves. We hear it in a newborn’s cry and see it in the eyes of the people we love. We sense it when we sit down to meditate or take a long, deep breath and let everything else go. We feel it when we run unfettered and laughing into the ocean.
Our deeper self is always there, and the more we tune into it, the less frightening death becomes because we start to understand that we’re eternal beings who are just borrowing these bodies for a time.
Our beliefs around death really come into play when we have a brush with it. I know that’s why you’re here. Death has reached into your life and made its presence known. Perhaps you:
- Are facing the terminal diagnosis of a loved one
- Are slowly making your way out of the throes of grief, and wondering how to put your life back together
- Had an epiphany that don’t want to let fear of death hold you back in life any more
- Came across a story, via a friend or maybe even online, that made you think about how precious life is
- Have recently become a parent or been ill or even just looked at how many birthdays have sailed by and realised it’s time to get your affairs in order
No matter what your story, know that it’s completely normal to feel lost and like your life just turned upside down. Death has a way of doing that. I also want you know to know that it doesn’t have to feel like this. It’s possible to honour your feelings around death and let them transform your own life and heart.
You can find peace and healing by letting go of your fears around death,
and this course is designed to show you how.
Each module in this course is built around one of the seven main chakras in our body. If you’re not familiar with chakras, here’s a little 101:
We are energetic beings – our bodies are filled with energy that we can’t see or measure on an x-ray. Our bodies are also filled with energetic pathways (called nadi) that carry our life force through us. Where these nadi meet and criss cross, they form points called chakras – which is Sanskrit for ‘wheel’. We have seven main chakras in a vertical line from the base of our spine to the top of our heads. Each one corresponds with a different physical and spiritual developmental state, as well as having its own connections to different organs, glands, emotional or spiritual issues, ailments, even colours and sounds. I see them like a roadmap to our inner spiritual workings, and a useful guidebook to how to transform our feelings and stories about death.
In each module we’ll look at a particular chakra, and how to work with that chakra for greater healing and peace surrounding death, fear of death, grief, and our stories around the end of life.
Take your time with this course. Have a journal handy as you read the modules. Give yourself quiet time to think about them and jot down any ideas or revelations that come to mind. Then, give the concepts from each module space to breathe and settle in. Think about them. See how you feel about them. Allow them to become part of your daily life. Try out the exercises and tips, even if you’re worried about doing them wrong (hint: there is no wrong.)
Death doesn’t have to be our greatest adversary. She can also be a gentle teacher who shows you how to live life. Let this be a space for you to be kind to yourself and sit quietly with death and grief, so you can see for yourself the deep healing and transformation they can bring.
With infinite love,